Personality

So I took this 70 question personality test the other day. It said I was an ESFJ. Probably a clue as to why I don't blog anymore.

Closed Until Further Notice

Tension

Can you handle the tension, without taking it personally?
Can you take the tension seriously and not your reactions
Focus on it without trying to direct it
Feel the emotions but don’t identify with them
Let it stretch you and shape you while not lashing out

Take the energy and run with it,
but don’t let it run you ragged and don’t outrun it

Pause and focus when necessary,
but out of need and not out of habit

Are you up for it?

"...in love and in psychological growth, the key to success is the ability to endure
the tension of the opposites without abandoning the process, and that this tension
allows one to grow and to transform."
--Carl Jung

Note: Quote from Jung has been slightly bastardized

Self Consciousness

Being self conscious is being apart from yourself.

You try to separately process each action and thought before committing to it.

You carve out a space in your own consciousness and sit there and judge.

But it is a rudimentary way to be aware of some of your own behavior.

It is an attempt to be more self aware.

But you only tend to see what you focus on and everything else gets blurred so in the end you probably see less.

Random Questions!!(??)

1. Have you ever dreamed in words?

2. Is there a connection between being self-conscious and self-aware, or is self-consciousness just another trait to be aware of?

That's it...

Too Happy?

Interesting article here. Reading made me briefly happy.

Version 2.8

When I wrote before I always had the sense that I was telling the whole story.

But I can’t do that anymore.

It seems that one of my best tools for doing so has abandoned me. That tool was pain.

Pain had the power to shift my perspective enough to enable me to see farther. To put temporary holes in the everyday vision we project to ourselves. Pain allowed me to see through the boundaries of my unknowing.

Moments of frustration and despair brought on creativity, brought on the deepest insights. I could actually even enjoy the pain as I felt my vision expanding and the world opening up.

So much of what I’ve seen, I could never have seen without the pain. I doubt I could ever have learned so much about myself without it.

The worst/best part was that it was so easy for me to create the pain. For awhile I could do it on demand. So many obstacles that I came across, all I had to do was touch the pain and I could see right through them.

But the pain has faded, especially fast the last couple months. It is no longer an effective way for me to see beyond myself.

Striving towards the promised land, but finding our path is shifting sand.

I used to identify with it so deeply. Now it’s almost a stranger. But, though it has passed, I am still here. I feel life flowing through me, and it does not come from pain. I am not well connected with it enough to see farther.

So as I write this I look ahead to a time when I can hopefully again add some depth to my writings. But using different techniques to achieve it. Because I can no longer move forward through the power of self-inflicted wounds.

A Christmas Poem

The gifts of the season found under a tree?
They're but shadows of the ones inside you and me.
You must look in your heart for the true gift to be found,
It's a package of love, but it must be unwound.
And when it is open, it will be plain to see
This gift's not for keeping, so let other receive.
For the love that we feel, it's not really our own
It's meant to pass through us, lead us closer to home.
So share it with others, however you might
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night.